Remember when we were kids, we’d blurt out what we thought, unfiltered, not thought through. We asked questions, we wanted to know everything about this curious, new person we met, what they ate for breakfast, why they got yelled at by their mom or if they’d like to go catch slugs in the rain.
And as we grew up, we segregated our mind into prejudices, into first figuring for ourselves what we needed to figure out about the person we’ve just met. Asking someone to go catch slugs in the rain would have to wait till maybe the hundredth meeting.
I daresay that it isn’t something we’re only told we should do, rather we realise that our banter and friendliness could be taken for granted or that we might not be taken seriously. Whatever happened to the good old world of say what you think and don’t take yourself to seriously. After all, it isn’t what you say that makes you who you are, but what you do. Unless, of course, you’re busy saying you want to learn how to make suicide bombs.
I believe that in the current world we live in, what with our volatile work environments and not knowing who’s going to put you in the gutter two days after buying you a ‘My Favourite Human’ present, it’s more of a defence mechanism and we all do it willingly or of unsound mind. But is it really that necessary to do so? Is it truly important to always watch our words and to pretend to be mature and sensible about every conversation when all you really want to do is talk about ducks. Do I become dumb or childish because I’m talking about ducks? Do people believe that I can only talk about ducks and not Donald Trump’s election or presidency, who by the way reminds me of ducks?
Allen and I, met through a similar conversation. We were both tagged on the social media handle of a brand, for some activity we had participated in and we took that tag as a chance to talk. We spoke about clothes, about our cities, about Alice in wonderland and about gumballs. Maybe it wasn’t gumballs but just balls. But what we did that day apart from talk on social media, is, we formed a friendship. One that doesn’t need to meet every day to sustain, or one that doesn’t start with a premonition. We eventually met, hung out often and I even lived with him for a few days in Mumbai where we got loads of time to talk about gumballs.
While I do watch my words now and am not willing to be perceived as a humbug even though that’s really just me being happy-go-lucky and bubbly like a classy and mature glass of wine, every once in a while, I do meet an Allen. Who I can say whatever I feel like to and even discuss body hair without a flinch.
Be like Allen. Be non-judgemental of the person in front of you. Be open to the idea that they might have a solid trick up their sleeve. Be ok with flying a kite in the middle of the road and failing miserably at it. Be ok with being close to 30 and still flying a kite like a child.
How else do you justify a deeper meaning to any time spent with any human being, any time spent well at all, from what you’ve been allotted in this life. I for one, don’t ever want to say I wasted twenty minutes of my life talking to a person and did not experience the revelation that is another human being, another thought process, another way of functioning.
Innocent banter shouldn’t have repercussions, being calculative and apathetic, should.
Photos by Pretika Menon
Styling by Deepika Ramani
Hair and Make Up by Justin Lhouvam
Featuring Allen from Bowtiesandbones
I’m wearing: Skirt and heels by Zara, Shirt borrowed from my brother, Sunnies borrowed from Pretika.
Shot for Myntra.com
Take A Bow